They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The feeling are messing with the penis
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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