If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
