Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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