She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
