Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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