I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
