I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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