it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
