Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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