Do you still have your period?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
