did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
