you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
