Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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