are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
