Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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