life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
