But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
