ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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