she was so not down for the gang bang
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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