apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
