I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
