Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
