A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
