im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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