plz talk dirty to me
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my liver is dry heaving
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
