we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
