Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I touched a dick in church today
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
