We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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