OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
