I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
