CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
