Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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