No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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