WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
