he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
