i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
