So drunk its hurt
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
