david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
