WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
