Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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