Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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