saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
