This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
