Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The beer is more important than you right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
