does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
