Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
