She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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