Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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