so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
