Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
