He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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